A is for Apothic wine that you should never, ever drink, unless you like your Swiss Miss spiked with rubbing alcohol.

B is for bottles of wine that you should save to help commemorate good times.

C is for corked, which you don’t want your wine to be-unless your into wet cardboard aromas

D is for Del DottoWinery that I want to make fun of for their pretentious, imported Italian cave, but their wine is soooo good.

E is for Extra-Dry, the champagne preference of the under-aged and your mother-in-law.

F is for full-bodied wine and how Napa Cabs roll.

G is for Gallo wine, most likely where we all started.

H is for half-bottle foolishness, when is 375ml ever enough?

I is for indecently priced wine lists—really, $39 for Cupcake?!?

J is for JohnFucking Caldwell and his Prometheus-like smuggling clone gift to us all.

K is for Kalon–where you go To for some of the best Cabs in Napa.

L is for LeftBank Bordeaux that have power and elegance and cost a lot.

M is for Muga, a great Spanish wine with lots of cedar notes.

N is for Napa, of course!

O is for Oenophilia, which while harder to spell, sounds nicer than borderline alcoholism.

P is for phylloxera, an evil aphid that eats the souls of wine lovers and the roots of grape vines.

Q is for OnQ which makes great wines in Coombsville.

R is for refrigeration and is the secret ingredient to enjoying grocery store wine.

S is for sommelier who should be an expert in wine, and not an asshole

T  is for terroir which is important for understanding that where a grape grows affects its taste and the wine that is created, but when I have to say it, still makes me feel like the priest in A Princess Bride

U is for ullagewhich is where the wine used to be at.

V is for vineyards that are as beautiful to look at as they are necessary to our survival

W is for wax seals that you drill though with a corkscrew, not send yourself to the emergency room with a stab wound to the palm while trying to cut through the wax.

X is for the xs formed in wooden crossbars of crates to store wine.

Y is for yeast which makes grape juice so happy and pretty.

Z is for Zinfandel and why that pizza tastes so damn good.